Culture, Songs, Uncategorized, World

In Your Eyes


In Your Eyes

I can see
Through this window to your soul
There’s a need
To know peace, to find some calm
Tranquility
I can see
You’re just like me

In your eyes
Sad, sad eyes
Your eyes
Sad, sad eyes
In your eyes
Sad, sad eyes
Sad, sad eyes

You can’t change
The way you feel the things you do
There’s no hope
No escaping this emotional zoo
In a prison
I can see
You’re just like me.

Have you ever suffered with depression? Have you ever wondered why so many people now-a-day suffer with it? Have you ever wondered why depression has become the epidemic of the 21st century?

I started writing this song a few years ago, and just haven’t gotten around to finishing it yet. I don’t really know how to finish it. I have suffered from something since my early 20s, although I have never received a full diagnosis. All I know is that you don’t want to be around me if I don’t take my medication. I don’t sleep. I get extremely irritated. I inhale my food, unable to control myself. My emotions are all over the map, and I am ultra-sensitive. There have been speculations of bi-polar, depression, anxiety disorder and ADHD. Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll find out what it is, but for now I’ll keep taking my meds, because they seem to help.

Depression isn’t anything new. It dates back to pre-history and medieval periods. Now-a-day, we hear of depression as being the disease, or epidemic of the 21st century. Why is that so? Could it be because of the breakdown of family structure in modern times? A Government study mentioned on ‘Mail Online’ says,Children from broken families are nearly five times more likely to suffer damaging mental troubles than those whose parents stay together.” Another article says, “Depressed: Children from broken homes are more likely to be plagued by suicidal thoughts in later life.” Freud also emphasizes early life experiences as a predisposing factor.

Maybe the problem lies in our values system as a society. We hold ‘being happy’ as the be-all, end-all of life. If I have the perfect body, make a lot of money, have a healthy family, am healthy myself, have a big house and acquire the things I like, then I’ll be happy. If one doesn’t achieve these things, is continually striving for them, and never satisfied with what they have, then they have been unsuccessful at reaching their goal of ‘happiness’. Depression creeps in.

Then there’s the problem with actually acquiring all of these things, but still not finding happiness in it all. Then what? One may have all they could ask for, but it still doesn’t satisfy. So then, the search for ‘happiness’ has proven to be a waste of time and life.

I’m sure that depression is caused by a number of things. What causes it in one, may not be the cause in another. I believe I have some type of chemical imbalance, yet why do I? What contributed to that happening? Is it because I didn’t have a good father? Or because I bought into the lie of needing to be perfect, yet never attaining it? Who knows?

Now back to you. Have you ever suffered with depression? Have you ever wondered why so many people now-a-day suffer with it? Have you ever wondered why depression has become the epidemic of the 21st century?

Culture, Poem

No thanks to you media (triquain)


No thanks to you media.jpg

Trapped inside
Vicious lies I’ve believed
Consuming, controlling, possessing
Imprisoned in a bubble, believing dark lies
Depression sucking life out of me
Unworthy, ignoble
Media

Do you feel that the media has a strong effect on how people see themselves and others now-a-day? Do you think it forms world-views and ideas about what is right and what is wrong? I do.

This poem is in response to the Monday Photo Prompt (original photo found here) that Kirsten over at Kirsten Uninterrupted posted. As soon as I saw it I knew I had to write a poem. So many people have ideals that they try to live up to. Specifically girls, and the way they see their bodies and physical appearance. With such a strong push by the media to have the ‘perfect’ body, the perfect hair, the perfect clothes, the perfect guy – if not achieved, many are not content.

What do you think? Has the media played a large part in the way you see yourself? Has it influenced the way you think about others? Do you think the media always tells the truth?

Culture, Poem

Fatherless


Fatherless.jpg

she sits in silence
     wanting
          watching
               waiting

a solitary tear falls upon the face of a child
     looking for acceptance
          for his return
               her father coming home

my princess
my flower
words she longs to hear
the construction of her confidence
assurance of his presence

no longer the need to awaken love
     before its time
          in the arms of another

Fathers – Love your daughters

When you think of the word “Father” what comes to mind? Did you have a healthy relationship with your dad? Or was it unhealthy? I can tell with full confidence that mine was not a healthy one.

As Western culture and society move more and more away from the values of family and commitment in relationships, unfaithfulness, divorce and broken hearts are on the rise.  I’m not a sociologist by any means, but I think it’s safe to quote Michael Rosenfeld, author of “The Age of Independence: Interracial Unions, Same-Sex Unions and the Changing American Family” in saying that even in the age of independence family is still the basic foundation of a human being.

I remember when I was still in my 20s and at a friend’s house, there was a man there that was talking about the affects of a father’s absence in the life of a teenage girl.  He spoke about how it is so easy for a girl to give herself sexually to another when she doesn’t have a strong and healthy relationship with her dad.  I thought he was full of crap, but as I debated with him and pondered the subject afterwards, I could really see that what he was saying made a lot of sense.

I wrote this poem soon after reading the poem of a blogger friend. He shared a video as well and it made me cry. It’s about a little girl in a car, leaving her father standing outside, saying goodbye.  She looked so sad.

Live Science says that scientists have found, after decades of research, that a father’s parenting style affects their kids just as much, and sometimes more, than mom’s.

The Child Welfare Information Gateway for the U.S. Department of Human Services states that a present father has a huge impact on a child’s cognitive ability and educational achievement, as well as psychological well-being and social behavior. One study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie and were more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior.

National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse says, The presence of a responsible father plays a key role in delaying sexual debut and reducing teen pregnancy. Concerning substance abuse they say, Research results show that father closeness serves a protective factor against the use and abuse of alcohol, cigarettes, marijuana, and hard-drugs during adolescents.

Now at the age of 40, I can safely say, with full confidence, that I no longer suffer the affects of an absent father. I have had great healing, thanks to my faith, but it didn’t come easy. In recollect, I fit the description of all that is stated above.  I did poorly in school and had very low self-esteem.  I exhibited disruptive behavior and had poor social relationships. I lied continually and got in trouble with the law.  I experienced great depression and chronic insomnia.  I started smoking at a very young age and used drugs, with a dependence on marijuana. And last, but not least, sought love at a young age through sexual relationships and promiscuity.

Now back to you. What does “father” mean to you? Do you feel that the presence of a father within the family unit is necessary for the healthy development and growth of a child?  Would you describe your relationship with your father a healthy one? If not, how did that affect you in your formative years?  And if so, how did that affect you in your formative years?

Photo by: http://buzzbuddy.de/sie-bauten-einen-2-millionen-euro-lamborghini-mit-nur-11-000-euro-und-einem-volvo/she sits in silence

 

Poem, Spiritual

Embracing pain


 

Embracing Pain - Robert Hafley.jpg

The taste of my pain is sour

yet bittersweet

Embrace it I will

with courage and determination

For I know that only through

the struggles undergone

of trials and sufferings

of body and soul

The trickle of salty tears

Anguish of heart and facing fears

will there once again shine a ray of hope

and the muscle of faith will be strengthened

Do you find yourself trying to flee the afflictions of life? Pain and suffering? Sadness and hurt?  I used to detest these times.  Of course, nobody really wants to experience pain.  And the pain I’m talking of here isn’t in the physical sense, but the emotional sense.  The pain of the soul.  Of the heart.

After 40 years of life, I’ve learned that pain is inevitable.  I’m trying to accept it as something that is strengthening though.  Just as a body builder lifts weight to make his muscles grow, if he stops training, his muscles will atrophy. Pain and suffering builds muscle, and in the absence of it, we remain weak and shallow.

As a Christian I can also use this analogy for my faith.  If I don’t undergo the trials and sufferings that this earthly life has in store for me, my faith will not grow, in fact it will just weaken.

So I will embrace the pain.  I will let it grow me.  I will allow it to shape me into a person of perseverance, character and tenacity.

How do you feel about pain? Emotional pain? Pain of the heart and of the soul? Do you allow yourself to be defeated by it? Or do you allow it to cause growth and maturity?

Photo credit:  Robert Hafley

https://stacilys.wordpress.com/2014/02/19/tenacity/